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How embodied yoga poses can help your creativity and wellbeing.
Dominique De-Light • 5 January 2024
Using yoga poses as a coaching exploration
It’s no secret that looking after your body can help your wellbeing. For thousands of years people have turned to yoga to maintain flexibility, restore calm and keep their bodies toned. But did you know that embodied yoga poses could help with your creativity and encourage better self-care, confidence, and assertiveness?
Embodiment in psychotherapy is the practice of using the body as a tool for healing through self-awareness, mindfulness, connection, self-regulation, finding balance and creating self-acceptance. I use embodiment in my coaching practice to enable clients to ‘bypass’ their mind, to really feel what is happening to them via their bodies. By working with the body, as well as the mind, the impact of our coaching work can be stronger, last longer, and have more impact. For, as the latest neuroscience research states, our bodies and what they experience, directly influences what happens in the brain. By listening to the body, we can change how we think and feel. Likewise, by practicing embodiment techniques, we can affect our creativity and wellbeing.
The people behind Embodied Yoga Principles
have taken this research and knowledge and adapted yoga poses to support personal development. By combining elements of life coaching, body therapy, dance, mindfulness-based practices, they have created a set of postures and exercises to explore and develop the body as a way of being. Just like the politician who is taught to stand with their feet wide and their chest out to inwardly feel and outwardly convey confidence, embodied yoga postures start from the belief that what you practice physically will change how you feel.
Their ’No’ posture is one I use a lot with clients. (If you have trouble saying no, see my previous post on ‘The importance of saying No’) Practiced for a few minutes daily, it can really help build your assertion skills and create that ‘muscle memory’ for when you need you need to say no to someone/something. For a demonstration of coaching an artist around the No posture see this 11 minute video
or if you want something shorter, here’s a 3 minute video.
Another useful position I find myself referring people to use is the ‘Self-care pose’
for when you’re feeling overwhelmed, or self-judgemental. It’s a great one when you’ being hard on yourself. And for those wanting to increase their creativity, they have an ‘Inspiration pose’
and for those that lack confidence, a ‘Take the space’
pose. If you feel you could benefit from any of these poses, watch the videos carefully, take your time to practice the pose initially, really exploring how you feel as you stand in the posture. Then, take a few minutes to practice it each morning. Do this for a couple of weeks and see how the pose can help you with your life.
I had a client who despite getting interviews, having the experience required, was failing to secure a new job. I encouraged her to practice the ‘Take the space’ pose for a few weeks. This she did, and even practiced it in the toilets just before the interview took place. She reported back that it had greatly improved her confidence and meant she walked into the interview with a bounce in her step. She got the job. Body language not only changes how we feel about ourselves but how others see us. So, if any of this resonates with you, why not check out the Embodied Yoga Principles website? You’ll find a link to them on my resources page.
Since reading my last post on introducing more silence to your life you’ve developed greater creativity and concentration and are never distracted by noise, right? Don’t worry, I’m only kidding! Focusing your mind when surrounded by distraction is challenging even for the most experienced practitioners of mindfulness. But don’t fret, managing your attention is a skill that you can develop. The more aware you are of where your attention goes, the more capacity you’ll have to manage it. Once you start observing where it goes, you’ll see it moves with or without your conscious involvement. Your attention could suddenly move to how your body feels, whether happy or sad, or a raised heartbeat or the heat of a drink of tea on your tongue. Your attention might be caught by sounds in your environment, a phone ringing, typing on a keyboard, birdsong outside the window. Or your thoughts might dominate, “Can’t believe what I need to do before lunchtime” etc. Start small, focusing for a few minutes a day on where your attention goes. Ask yourself, “Where is my attention right now? On my body, the world, or my thoughts? Notice when your attention drifts and non-judgementally bring it back to being still in the present. By doing this over and over, for longer periods of time, you’ll increase your ability to direct your attention where you want it. To help bring yourself to the present moment, focus on a bodily sensation, such as breathing, or on one of your senses, such as touch, taste, sight, sound, or smell. By practicing strengthening your attention you’ll start spending more time in the present moment. This will help you become more focussed, reduce your stress levels, and improve your productivity. It’ll also help you reduce the amount of time you ruminate on past events or worry about future ones, improving your overall wellbeing. Don’t be too hard on yourself. No one can be in the present all the time. No one, not even a Zen master, can be aware of their attention all the time. Just by trying and becoming more aware of where your attention goes will create a positive shift in your life. Small steps of awareness are the key.
Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of an imagined future, we can all struggle when faced with grief, challenging circumstances, an unpredictable world, inequality and an environment in crisis. Sometimes it can be hard to stay positive. Sometimes life can feel pointless, a fog descends and we have no motivation to do anything. At these darkest times, it’s important to note that even in tragedy and helplessness, we do have a deep capacity for hope. That sometimes we have to hit the bottom of the barrel, before we consider changing. There have been times when I’ve felt life couldn’t get any worse, but when I’ve looked back on those times, it was at those low points that I made decisions that led to deep change resulting in positive outcomes. “ Growth comes at the point of resistance. We learn by pushing ourselves and finding what really lies at the outer reaches of our abilities .” The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin Pema Chödrön, a Buddhist nun and bestselling author, teaches that, “ The source of our unease is the unfillable longing for a lasting certainty and security, for something solid to hold onto .” It’s very human to want something certain, knowable, solid to hang onto. It’s hard to hold uncertainty in your life, but it is also very normal. Pema teaches a method called ‘learning to stay.’ A mindfulness skill we can practice to increase our ability to work with ourselves in moments we’d rather not look at at all. It's simple, though not easy, this ‘learning to stay’ method. Read through the following steps and consider using them the rest of the week as an experiment. Acknowledge a situation where you’re stuck or triggered by trauma or loss. To be human is to be triggered. As you reflect on this situation, pause to notice your breathing. Note the quality of your breath – is it short, jagged, even or smooth? Fully feel the energy of your experience. Get curious about your sensing self by dropping into every one of your senses: taste, smell, sight, hearing, touch, and your inner, or interoceptive sense too. Notice what thoughts arise? In other words, how you’re talking to yourself. Ditto with feelings. Stay with your experience, noticing any itch to move away from it. Feel your energy, noting its ebb and flow. Be with it, embrace this experience fully (it doesn’t matter if you like it or not, as it’s already occurring in the present moment). Lastly, choose to release your experience, letting go of any tension with your next exhalation (your stuckness, discomfort, thoughts). If you’re going through a difficult time, remember to be kind to yourself. By showing yourself compassion you’ll cope with the situation better. I wish you well in your challenges.
There are scientific studies showing that self-compassionate people have better mental health , adjust better to divorce , are better motivated and have healthier romantic relationships . Practicing self-compassion soothes the fight/flight response and is the perfect antidote to the inner critic. It also yields a number of benefits, including lower levels of anxiety and depression. Self-compassionate people recognize when they are suffering and are kind to themselves at these times, which reduces their anxiety and related depression. (Harvard Medical School) Kristen Neff, a researcher on self-compassion, psychologist and Professor at the University of Texas, identifies three elements of self-compassion: 1. Self-kindness vs self-judgement – being warm and understanding to ourselves when we suffer or fail or feel inadequate. Accepting with sympathy and kindness that life will have difficulties leads us to greater emotional equanimity. 2. Common humanity vs isolation – recognising that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the human experience, that we all go through it, rather than something that happens to just “me”. 3. Mindfulness vs over-identification – being mindful where we observe thoughts and feelings as they are without trying to suppress or deny them. Not overidentifying with thoughts and feelings so we get overwhelmed by negative reactions. Here’s a simple exercise to increase your self-kindness – you can either think it through or write the answers to the following questions in your journal. The final instruction allows you to expand it into a creative exercise if you feel so inclined. Making time for creativity can be one way we can be kind to ourselves. 1. What does being kind to yourself look like? 2. How will you know that you’re being kinder to yourself? 3. What will be different if you were kinder to yourself? 4. If you like to express yourself creatively, write a piece of flash fiction (under 500 words) about a character who changes from being critical of themselves to being self-compassionate or, write a list of 20 words you think of when you hear ‘being kind to yourself’, pick 3 words and weave a poem around them. For more information on self-compassion and exercises to develop a self-compassion mind-set see the link to Kristen Neff’s website on my resource page . She has some great exercises to help you develop your self-compassion. Try this audio exercise called the Self-Compassion break – it takes just five minutes and is aimed at complete beginners. Alternatively, next time you are in distress or notice yourself thinking critically of yourself, think what you would say to a friend in this situation – often we are far kinder to our friends than ourselves. Another way to increase your self-compassion is to practice a loving kindness meditation, try this ten minute one , by Dr Soph.
You may have heard of white noise, but have you heard of pink, brown or other ‘coloured’ noises? Each type of noise has a slightly different range of frequencies played at different volumes. White noise includes all audible frequencies (20Hz-20kHz) played at the same volume, whilst pink noise has a slightly lower frequency range and brown noise lower still. These coloured noises give your brain a steady and boring sound to focus on, helping to block out other distracting noises. Though there is still more research to be done, some think that the different types of noise are better suited for different tasks. • White noise (think radio static caught between stations) can help people with ADHD reduce off-task behaviour and focus better, especially when reading and writing. • Researchers claim that brown noise is more enjoyable to listen to which may make it easier to use long-term. • Pink noise (think sound of rainfall with hint of static) gradually slows brain waves and might be best for stabilising sleep. • Green sounds, similar to sounds found in nature (like a waterfall), is often more pleasing and therefore more effective at helping you focus and study. • Blue noise is considered the most annoying as it is at the high end of the spectrum and sounds like hissing water. There is some evidence it can affect your gastric activity. • All of them, except for blue, are better at improving focus, sleep and relaxation as they are an effective way of entering a meditative state, but science can’t entirely explain why just yet. The neutral noise is similar to a meditation technique as it shifts you from being externally focussed to internally focussed. It’s possible the noises may have a powerful placebo effect or may change our brain activity directly; science is still working that out. Placebo or not, sound therapy, where you choose one of the above-coloured noises to help you focus, may help you. Sound is a tool that can help you process the world in a different way. If you want to learn more about this topic, read this article from which I’ve summarised the above information, What’s the Difference Between White, Pink and Brown Noise by Hannah Baxter. If you find good pink or green noise tracks, do let me know. I’m always interested in improving my own focus and sleep ability.
The one certainty in life is change. Whether it’s moving home, changing job, changing relationship, children coming or going, financial fluctuations, there’s a multitude of changes we face as we journey through life. We can get comfortable in our routines, and when faced by change, chosen or forced upon us, it can feel like a rude awakening. Even changes of our own making take time for readjustment. I find the following coaching exercise helpful when facing change. It’s good to write the answers down, rather than just think them through, as the act of writing leads to deeper thought, and helps you structure your thoughts and actions. Writing will also encourage you to take time for yourself, encouraging self-care and compassion, both helpful when adjusting to changes in your life. I recommend 20 minutes for the following exercise and encourage you to find a space where you feel safe and will be undisturbed. If the exercise brings up difficult feelings, give yourself some time out afterwards, and do something that nourishes you – whether that’s admiring some flowers, taking a walk, or doing a breathing exercise. 1. Consider a recent change in your life. Maybe one that you’re struggling with, or one that is throwing up complex emotions. 2. List all the positive and challenging emotions related to the change. 3. Consider why you felt like that. What brought up these feelings for you? 4. List all the people and resources you have that can help you cope with changes. Maybe a weekly chat with a friend, practical help from a colleague, updating software to create new systems… 5. How will they help you to cope well with more changes? Write how each person or resource can help you and what further support might be needed. 6. What might you do differently in future? Looking at the people and resources you’ve listed, choose one action you can take and write a time and day when you will do it. 7. If you like creative writing, can you write about your challenge and how you will secure more support as a poem or turn it into a piece of flash fiction? Changing point of view/writing structure can give you perspective, bring humour to a situation and bring up new ideas of how to deal with the situation. For example, imagine you were your favourite TV character, how would they deal with the challenge? I hope this exercise helps. And if you write a poem or a piece of flash fiction as a result, I’d love to read it!
Many of us ‘zoomed out’ during the Covid 19 pandemic, constant meetings, social events via zoom enabled us to stay connected but for many it reduced our lives to a small screen, with a crunched neck and slouched body. Though events have returned to in-person, Zoom and Microsoft Teams have remained, with many still attending work meetings and events this way due to convenience. Afterall, it cuts down the commute, the cost of travel and time, and makes events so much more accessible. However, attending on-line does come at a cost. There’s the danger of distraction, boredom as there’s an easy escape route and what every zoom facilitator dreads, the lack of engagement. So how can you get more out of virtual meetings/events? Be more present and engaging? Here’s some tips: 1. Avoid splitting your attention – put your phone out of reach, close down other computer programmes, use the ‘hide self view’ feature so you’re not distracted by your own image. All these things take us out of ourselves and out of the moment. 2. Take deep belly breaths, feel your feet on the ground and your body in chair. Be present in your presence. 3. Notice how the meeting impacts you. Do you feel energised or drained by it? If the latter, take a walk around the block before returning to your tasks. If the former, follow through on thoughts from the meeting rather than the next screen related task. 4. Be curious. Use the time to notice what is happening in you, even if it is uncomfortable. Why is it uncomfortable, what is it you’re avoiding? 5. Reflect on how you interact and engage with others during the meeting. Deep connections are possible via zoom, especially in the intimacy of a breakout room. If we’re present, supportive and engaging, this is more likely to happen. 6. By participating from our home environment, we’re more likely to be relaxed, which can help us be more authentic and create more honest connections. Whatever your thoughts about virtual meetings/events, the reality is, they’re here to stay. So why not try to make the most of them? Do let me know how you get on and if you have any tips to add to this list. I offer coaching by zoom and in-person though for those that live outside of Brighton and Hove, zoom is often the best way for both me and the person being coached. If you’re interested in the benefits of coaching or want support to change your life, why not get in touch for your FREE 15-minute consultation?
In Kelly McGonigal’s TED talk, the health psychologist urges us to see stress as a positive. We are constantly bombarded by the message that stress is bad for us, that it makes us ill, that it reduces our immune system and leads to further health problems. However, research has shown that if we believe stress is bad for us, then if we experience stress, it can increase our risk of dying. McGonigal quotes a study where those who had experienced a lot of stress in the previous year had a 43% increased risk of death, but only if they believed stress was harmful to their health. Those that didn’t believe stress was harmful were no more likely to die. In fact, they had the lowest risk of dying of anyone in the study, including those with far less stress. This research shows it’s not stress that is dangerous, but the belief that it is dangerous. McGonigal decided to design a test to see if changing your mind about stress, can change your body’s response to stress. Through putting research participants through a social stress test, doing maths under pressure, participants were taught the stress response was helping the body, preparing it for action. For example, breathing faster helped more oxygen get to the brain. These participants not only did better in the test as a result, and were less stressed and anxious, but their physical stress response changed. Their blood vessels stayed relaxed rather than constricted, a response similar to moments of joy. This biological change could be the difference between a stress induced heart attack and living into old age. How you think about stress could affect your lifespan. See stress as your body’s way of rising to a challenge. Another stress response is for your body to pump out oxytocin, the ‘cuddle hormone’. It’s the body’s way of getting you to seek out support when times are tough. Oxytocin is a natural anti-inflammatory, helping your blood vessels stay relaxed when experiencing stress, it also helps heart cells regenerate and heal from stress-induced damage. It literally strengthens your heart. Yet another good reason to hug someone! So, your stress response encourages you to reach out and heal yourself. McGonigal quotes another study that tracked 1000 US adults aged 34 to 93. They were asked about their stress levels and how much time they helped out friends, neighbours and their community. Then looked at their health records for the next 5 years. For those that went through stressful life experiences, such as financial difficulties, family crisis, the increased risk of dying was 30 percent, but those who had spent time caring for others showed absolutely no stress-related increase in dying. Caring for others created personal resilience. The harmful effect of stress on your health is not inevitable. How you think and act can transform your experience of stress. How you view stress will impact its effect on you. How you choose to interact with others can impact how stress affects you. You can have the power to change the impact of stress on your health. How amazing is that? If you’re interested in learning more, check out Kelly McGonigal’s full 13 minute talk, you’ll find a link to it on my resources page.
Do you want to leave your job because of a toxic environment? Or maybe you’ve just left? Toxic workplace culture is the number one reason people leave their posts. Whether it is a workplace bully, bitching by the watercooler, or being constantly undermined by colleagues, staying in a toxic work environment can seriously damage your mental health. These experiences can reduce your confidence and self-belief, increase your anxiety and impact sleep and wellbeing. Unfortunately, I’ve coached numerous clients who’ve had this experience. Those whose managers micromanaged them, failing to believe they were capable of doing their job, others who were criticised whatever they did, some who never got promotion despite their hard work. Some of my clients took their employers to tribunal but more often, the easier course of action, was to leave the job and move on. But how do you move on? 1. Take responsibility for the decision to leave. This way you have decided to go rather than feeling you’ve been forced out. This empowers you as you’ve chosen to make change in your life. 2. Try to find closure. Rather than mulling over what ifs and if onlys, write a list of all the positives you got from the job, even if all you can think of is ‘I’ve learnt not to stay in a toxic work environment’. Then write a list of all the positives of leaving e.g., “I can find a job with friendly, supportive colleagues,”, “I can use this opportunity to find better paid work,” or “I can find a job that develops my skills” etc. 3. Take control of what you can. You may not have been able to control your past work environment or peoples’ reactions to you, but you can control how you respond to them and the situation. Think about how you will choose to react if you see them again, how will you choose to think about the experience? Will you continue to let past negative experiences impact on how you behave going forward? You may need professional help to overcome your experiences, and it’s important you acknowledge what happened, brushing it under the carpet will just store up problems for later. 4. Plan for triggers. Maybe you have no choice but to continue seeing those who made your life a misery. Maybe you’ll encounter the people, the building, or the environment. Plan how you will deal with this. What support do you need to help you cope? 5. Savor the positive moments. Focus on the positive, however small. Whether it is counting the days till you leave the job. Counting the days since you left the job. Observing small growths in your confidence as you heal. Recognise that you’re moving on. It may be slow, but time really does heal and with patience and self-compassion you can rise above it all and become more resilient. Soon you’ll be flying high again.
Evolution is mostly wonderful; it developed our brains, opposable thumbs, created a nervous system that keeps us safe, but sometimes, what kept us safe in the past can hold us back in the present. The human tendency to focus on the negative was very useful when it protected us from eating berries that previously made us sick but is less helpful when our minds obsess over a critical comment or a perceived failure. As a coach, I support people in reframing beliefs that are no longer helpful. Ones such as, “ I was never any good at sports at school ”, that stops you going to the gym. Or “ I never succeed at anything ”, preventing you from writing the book you’ve always wanted to write. “ I’m terrible at interviews, ” which keeps you in a job you hate. So how do coaches change the way you think? It’s all in the questions we ask, the deep thinking we get you to do, the way we reflect on what you say, getting you to really hear what you think and asking whether that’s accurate. This takes time, work, and challenges to embed new, more positive beliefs. In the meantime, here’s some tips to help you reframe a problem. The old reframing cliché is to see every problem as an opportunity. So how do you find innovative solutions to your problem/new opportunity? 1. Rethink the question – if the problem is “ How can I pay for the course when I don’t have the money? ”, you’re assuming you need the course. By changing the question to, “How can I learn the information I need for free?” will create a different set of solutions. 2. Brainstorm bad ideas – we always feel pressured to come up with good ideas, but if you’re open to all ideas, you’re more likely to come up with something you’ve not thought of. Also, bad ideas can create good ideas by rethinking them, so next time, 'think outside the box'. 3. Unpack your assumptions. This can be hard as assumptions are deeply engrained. Take your problem and challenge its perceived limitations or rules. When I was running Creative Future, we wanted to put underrepresented artists work in galleries, but no gallery would accept us at first. So, we thought of other ways to show artwork, in libraries, in a portable miniature replica of the Tate Modern, the size of a garden shed. Our quirky exhibitions attracted thousands of visitors and soon galleries were getting in touch with us to feature our artists’ work. What problem would you like to reframe? Do the steps above and see if they help you. If you’re still struggling and would like help with reframing, do get in touch for a free consultation .
In my last blog post, I outlined how to find purpose and meaning in life. But with such limited time, how do we manage to follow our passions when day to day commitments get in our way? Oliver Burkeman tackles this tricky issue in his book Four Thousand Weeks . The title refers to the average length of our lives if we live eighty years. If you’re forty, you only have two thousand weeks, and if you’re sixty, one thousand weeks. Our time is finite yet many of us spend life ignoring the fact. Time management is a skill few of us master and is the best way to live life organising every minute, squeezing productivity out of every second? Burkeman, a self-declared productivity guru, admits it’s impossible to master your time and eloquently explains why you shouldn’t make it a priority anymore. By constantly trying to squeeze more into our limited time, we increase the pressure on ourselves, and often experience stress and anxiety as a result. We enjoy life less by trying to do more. The lesson here is to stop structuring your life, leave time for daydreaming, spontaneous activities and enjoying life. Everyone procrastinates, it’s a healthy part of being productive. It’s impossible to be productive every minute of the day. Procrastination helps the brain rest between tasks, just make sure that after a period of procrastination you go back to your highest priority task, and don’t try to multi-task, you’ll get less done. Do one task at a time then move onto the next. By breaking tasks down into small chunks you’ll finish things faster. With any spare time you have, don’t find a new project to do, take time to rest, reflect and reset. Do something that brings you pleasure, whether that’s a hobby, exercise, and/or spending time with loved ones. Learn to relax. Spending more time on leisure activities will boost your productivity in the long run. When working out what to spend time on, Burkeman quotes Warren Buffett, who tells a man who asks his advice to, “ make a list of the top twenty-five things he wants out of life and then to arrange them in order, from the most important to the least". The top five, Buffett says, should be those around which he organises his time…. the remaining twenty, Buffett allegedly explains, aren’t the second-tier priorities to which he should turn when he gets the chance. Far from it. In fact, they’re the ones he should actively avoid at all costs – " because they’re the ambitions insufficiently important to him to form the core of his life yet seductive enough to distract him from the ones that matter most .” Burkeman goes on to quote Elizabeth Gilbert, “ You need to learn how to start saying no to things you do want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life .” That is the real challenge. Leaning to say no to things we don’t want to do can often be hard enough. Coaching can help you work out your priorities and in learning to say no. In the meantime, I highly recommend reading Burkeman’s book, it definitely changed my life! For a link to Four Thousand Weeks, check out my resources page .
